INTJs and ISFJs, like any other combination of types, can enjoy loving, lasting, and passionate relationships. As an INTJ, I treasure my ISFJ wife. She’s my best friend, business partner, lover, and so much more. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that I’ve liked every ISFJ I’ve ever met. I have tremendous respect for the ISFJ personality type.
However, like any relationship, my wife and I have had our share of struggles. In this article (and video), we share of the areas of tension in our relationship.
INTJ and ISFJ Relationship
Here are some of the struggles we’ve faced in our INTJ-ISFJ relationship:
- Having children. My ISFJ wife would love to have many children (2-5, maybe even 10, haha), but I would prefer a smaller family (one or two). This has created a bit of tension in the past.
- Social interaction. Although my wife is an introvert, ISFJs are known for being great in social situations. She’s not as introverted as I am. Therefore, my desire for solitude and privacy has sometimes clashed with her desire for a little more social interaction. This has mainly taken place on holidays. I wanted to relax at home, but she wanted to go to family get-togethers.
- ISFJs love tradition. My wife loves to take part in social customs and traditions (sending Christmas cards, decorating for holidays, etc.). I’m not really into those things. This can sometimes create some tension or disagreement.
- Keeping the blinds closed. As an INTJ, I love privacy. I hate to think people are peeking at me through my window, especially when it’s dark outside. However, my ISFJ wife loves to keep them open all day. While I don’t mind them to be open during the day, I hate for them to be open at night.
- My wife hates to talk about details. I love to create plans and strategies. After I’ve created a plan, I love to talk to my wife about it. However, she gets bored fairly easily. She likes to DO things, and she thinks while she does them. I like to THINK about things, and I do things once I’ve thought about them.
In conclusion, those are some of the struggles we’ve faced in our relationship. Nevertheless, we’ve always maintained open communication, and we’ve worked through any tensions that have sprung up. I do believe that INTJs and ISFJs make great relationships, but both individuals must approach it with maturity, love, and commitment.