Are INTJs liars? Do INTJs tell lies? If you’ve ever watched the show House M.D., you’ve probably heard Dr. House say the following phrase: “Everybody lies.” For the most part, it’s true. Lying is a human trait, not necessarily a personality trait, and most people have told a lie at some point in their lives (probably multiple times).
Here are a few quotes about lying:
“Tell a lie once, and all of your truths will become questionable.”
“A lie can spread halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its boots.”
Lies can cost you relationships, career opportunities, and a lot of strife.
There are many different types of lies: Half-truths, lies of omission, lies of flattery, white lies, and bold-faced lies (where you blatantly stating false information with the intent to deceive), just to name a few.
So, how do INTJs approach the topic of lying? Are INTJs liars? How do most INTJs lie?
INTJs Tend to Hate Deception or Dishonesty
While most people hate to be deceived, INTJs particularly seem to dislike liars and manipulators. I can tell you that if someone lies to me about something big, I’ll likely never trust him or her ever again. It’s almost as if I put them in this category in my mind, and they are marked as untrustworthy individuals. There is a chance I’d be willing trust someone again, but they would have to show dramatic change in their character over a long period.
INTJs value truth and honesty, and if you lie to an INTJ, he or she may never trust you again. In fact, they may even cut you out of their lives if the lie was particularly hurtful. At the very least, they won’t take you very seriously.
Most of the INTJs I’ve known were very honest and respectable people. There are exceptions, of course, which I’ll discuss about in a moment. However, here are some common traits of the INTJ type that lead me to believe that most INTJs tend to prefer honesty, especially when they have fully matured:
- INTJs tend to be very blunt. We tell people what we really think, and therefore, we rarely feel the need to lie. We think about logic and truth first, and the emotional consequences second. This, of course, can get INTJs into trouble, but it also means that we tend to be honest where others are less than honest.
- INTJs aren’t as concerned with what people think. Most INTJs will state their opinions, even if that opinion isn’t popular. They aren’t afraid to be different.
- INTJs admit ignorance. If you ask an INTJ about something, and the INTJ is clueless about it, the INTJ will tell you directly, “I don’t know.” It would be rare for an INTJ to try to make up some elaborate answer to something they don’t know. We don’t have a problem admitting ignorance about a topic.
- Most INTJs value truth. We get annoyed by misinformation or irrational statements. Therefore, we try our best to provide accurate statements.
- INTJs extreme introverts who don’t think very quickly on their feet. INTJs have a process of thinking that goes through an internal filter of logic and analysis. If someone asks us something, it’s very difficult to lie on the spot. We like to think before answering, unlike, say, an ENTJ who would be much quicker in telling a lie. Granted, the INTJ can pre-plan a lie, and they would be better in that situation. However, most INTJs aren’t good at lying on the spot if it involves thinking of an alibi or something complex.
- INTJs generally dislike fake people, and lying makes us feel fake. This isn’t true for all INTJs, but if an INTJ dislikes a certain trait in others, he or she will also hold themselves to that same standard. Many INTJs hate liars or being lied to, so we try to avoid lying ourselves.
- We hate drama and a lot of silly social constructs. Because the INTJ avoids a lot of social situations and drama, they don’t have as many temptations to lie.
Why and How INTJs Would Lie
Even though INTJs may tend to prefer honesty, INTJs do also lie. INTJs are humans with faults. An INTJ has lie to me, even though he was overall an honest guy. Many INTJs on forums have talked about lying, although many prefer honesty. I have lied before, which I am ashamed to admit. It was wrong of me to lie, and as a Christian, I also consider it a sin that I had to correct. Most of the time in the past when I’ve told a lie, it was out of convenience or to avoid confrontation, or it was a very person question I didn’t want to discuss. I’ve always been a horrible liar, and I strongly dislike both lying and being lied to.
Here’s how most INTJs would lie:
- INTJs would most likely lie through omission or withholding of information. In other words, an INTJ is more likely to lie about something in a passive manner rather than an active, direct manner.
- INTJ will probably avoid the topic as much as possible.
- If an INTJ preplanned a lie or lied often, they’d be pretty good. They’d probably think of all of the possible questions surrounding it, and have a preplanned list of responses. Also, INTJs do have a good poker face because their emotions are detached from their facial expressions.
- INTJs are more likely to lie in written format than when face-to-face.
How to Tell if an INTJ is Lying
It’s easy to tell if a politician lies—their lips will begin moving. Every INTJ is different, so it can be hard to tell if he or she is lying. Here are a few indicators:
- INTJs would likely be short in their responses if honest, yet feel the need to explain or rationalize if lying. Therefore, if an INTJ becomes too defensive or too detailed, he or she may be lying, but there are exceptions.
- INTJs may get defensive or criticize you over something (point out your flaws or a lie you told) if you accuse them of lying and it’s true.
- INTJs may exhibit unusual body language if they are being dishonest, such as scratching their face, clearing their throat, etc.
How to Stop Lying as an INTJ
- Deflect uncomfortable questions saying something like, “That’s none of your business” or “I don’t feel like talking about that right now” or “Why do you want to know that?”
- Respond with silence when someone asks you something you don’t want to answer. You’re not obligated to answer everything.
- If you have a person in your life and you constantly feel like you have to lie to them, it may be a good time to examine your relationship. Perhaps you should discuss your true feelings, or maybe the person isn’t a true friend.
- If someone puts on you the spot by asking about their new haircut, which looks hideous, change the focus. Instead of saying, “Yeah, your new haircut looks amazing,” say, “Well, I really liked the way you had it before, but you still have many other great features.”
- Don’t do anything that would require a lie. Be honest and upright in your dealings. Don’t be a shady person, and you won’t have to worry about keeping up with lies. I think that honesty a huge sign of character and maturity in a person. I want to be a man of character and integrity, so I strive to be honest in my life.
Here are a few quotes that I like about being honest:
“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it’ll always get you the right ones” -John Lennon
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” -Mark Twain
In conclusion, INTJs tell lies just like every other personality type. However, INTJs may have a tendency towards honesty, and they’ll likely like to protect their privacy or avoid chastisement.