One of the traits that most INTJs possess is a disregard or dislike for most traditions, holidays, or customs. Some other personality types, such as the SJ types, are big about traditions (ESFJ, ISFJ, ISTJ, and ESTJ). They defend them, cherish them, and uphold them. Because of their tendency to protect and enforce longstanding traditions and customs in a society, David Keirsey referred to the SJs as the “Guardians.”
I worked a few different retail jobs when I was a teenager. In one of the stores, a new manager took over. The one thing everyone kept saying about him was that he was “by the book.” I thought that was a strange way to describe someone.
I only worked part-time then, so I didn’t have a chance to meet this new manager for a few weeks. Finally, I worked a shift with him one night. At this particular retail store, we always had a required “team huddle” at the beginning of our shift. I figured the manager might introduce himself to me, so I was playing scenarios in my head of how that would happen. At the end of the huddle, he just looked at me and said, “Sir, you’re supposed to wear your name badge on the right side of your shirt, not the left.”
I was stunned. I had never heard that we were supposed to wear our name badge on a certain side (I worked there for almost two years). I was also stunned that he cared so much about something so trivial. He was most likely an SJ type (perhaps ISTJ).
INTJs Hate Holidays, Traditions, and Customs?
In contrast to the SJ types, INTJs don’t hold the traditions and customs of society in as much esteem as other types. In fact, INTJs may very well be the ones pushing to abolish some tradition or custom. INTJs often find traditions pointless, inefficient, or overly sentimental.
However, INTJs can and will follow a custom or tradition if they enjoy it or see some logical reason to do so. Also, some INTJs may even create their own family traditions, but they will likely disregard or ignore any tradition they perceive as pointless.
Here are some examples of ways that I’ve disregarded traditions or customs in my life:
- My wife and I eloped. I didn’t care about the big wedding ceremony tradition. Being an INTJ, I didn’t really have a huge friend list to invite anyway.
- I didn’t attend my own college graduation ceremony. I pretty much hate most ceremonies.
- I don’t plan to have a funeral service. I think the idea of a bunch of random acquaintances standing over my dead body is rather strange.
- I hate sending Christmas cards or birthday cards. It makes no sense to me. It wastes paper, stamps, and time. Why not just send a text or email? Or better yet, tell the person “Merry Christmas” to their face?
- Religions can have many traditions. I only follow religious traditions if they are Bible-based. If a church adds extra traditions, it does annoy me.
- I’ve essentially stopped giving or receiving gifts from my extended family and only do it with my wife, son, and mother. I don’t like to receive gifts. I’ve talked about gift giving and receiving in other videos, but I find it to be a draining and frustrating process. My wife will ask me what I want for some holiday, and I’ll tell her not to buy me anything. When I want something, I buy it.
- I don’t celebrate most holidays. It’s just another day to me. The only thing is that I might shoot off some fireworks on the 4th of July, we celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving, and we do celebrate our birthdays and anniversary. Given the fact that my wife is an holiday-loving ISFJ, I do most of it to make her happy (happy wife, happy life!). I don’t do Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny with my son. I don’t care about other holidays at all.
- I’ve never understood some etiquette rules such as using a certain fork for salads, keeping your elbows off the table, etc.
- I pretty much hate watching sports, even the Super Bowl.
- I’ve always thought “initiations” into clubs and fraternities are silly and a waste of time.
- I’ve never really thrown parties or anything. My wife enjoys to have family over every once in a while, but I’ve never had a big party where I invited friends over.
In conclusion, INTJs can create or enjoy traditions, but for the most part, INTJs disregard traditions for tradition’s sake. They only hold to a tradition or custom if they see some logical reason to do so. They may enjoy some holidays, but most INTJs are going to view holidays like it’s any other day. All of this is in stark contrast to the “SJ” types who tend to make a big fuss over holidays and traditions.