What are INTJ women like? Well, for starters, INTJ females are the most rare personality type among women. According to 16personalities.com, INTJ women make up only 0.8% of the population. According to capt.org, only 1-3% of females are INTJs (the most rare of all types, tied with INTPs), whereas 2-6% of males are INTJs. The total population for INTJs is estimated at 2-4%. Interestingly, ISFJs are the most common type among females, coming in at around 15-20% (that’s my wife’s type).
In this article, I’ll give my take on INTJ women, from an INTJ male’s perspective. I’ll also address a couple of questions asked by one of my YouTube viewers (Nicky, an INTJ female).
INTJ women may struggle with “fitting in” more than other personality types since they don’t fit the common stereotype for females. Most INTJ females aren’t the typical “let’s go shopping, chat for hours, and gossip” types. Instead, they’re intellectual, introverted, logical, and private. They can hold their own in a debate, and they have the capacity to accomplish great things.
While some men are intensely attracted to the INTJ female type, INTJ women may struggle with finding a man due to their introverted and private nature. INTJ women aren’t as “flirty” or “bubbly” as other types, and some men may perceive the INTJ woman as difficult to read. In addition, INTJ women aren’t the types to put up with foolish mind games, cheap flattery, or cheating.
Furthermore, some men may feel threatened when faced with a woman who can hold her own in a debate or intellectual discussion, although some men love that. Nevertheless, INTJ women are rare treasures. It’s hard to imagine that out of a room of 1,000 women, only 8-30 would be INTJs (statistically speaking)!
INTJ Females vs Males
How do INTJ females differ from INTJ males? That’s a great question. In my personal opinion, I do not think there are significant differences–only subtle differences. What’s interesting to note is that in the MBTI Manual: A Guide to the Development and Use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (3rd Edition), the authors reported that females with the “Thinking” preference “had a greater tendency to give certain Feeling responses than did males” (page 132). In other words, even though both types were “Thinking” types, females still responded with a more emotional preference.
I think that INTJ males, perhaps due to increased testosterone, may be more prone to arrogance, temper, or profanity. In other words, they’re more rough around the edges. Female INTJs, however, tend to be more controlled and reserved. They may have a slightly more emotional response than males, perhaps due to their different hormone levels and biological capacity to bear children. You should never underestimate an INTJ girl, though. They can still skewer someone with their tongue in a debate, but they are a more sophisticated, refined version of the INTJ (in my opinion).
INTJ Females in a Relationship
A viewer asked how would I deal with female INTJ traits in a relationship, from a male’s perspective. First, I have read on several forums that two INTJs can make a great couple. INTPs and INTJs have also reported happy marriages, as have many other types. I don’t think people should select mates based on types. Instead, I’d advice couples to use MBTI as a way to better understand your mate.
I think some things a male would like about an INTJ girl would be her intellectualism, her faithfulness, her ability to achieve great things, her low-maintenance style, and her preference for privacy and solitude. Some things a male may not like about an INTJ female is maybe her low energy, the difficulty in reading her, and her seriousness.
Overall, I’d encourage any man to pursue an INTJ female, if given the opportunity. My wife is an ISFJ, and I think they make fantastic wives as well.
INTJ Female Traits
Although I have observed female INTJs online, I’ve only known one INTJ female personally: my wife’s grandmother. She was married to an ISTP “mechanic” type for over 50 years. I’ll share with you some things I’ve observed about her, but these traits may not apply to all INTJ women.
- She didn’t display emotion or affection to her children or grandchildren often, yet she clearly cared about them. I asked my wife how her INTJ grandmother treated her growing up, and my wife said that she rarely said “I love you” or hugged her. However, I can remember my wife’s grandmother talking about how the first time her granddaughter went to school, she went back inside and cried.
- She had a very low-key appearance. She didn’t put an emphasis on fashion, earrings, or jewelry. She dressed modestly and simply.
- She was an excellent cook and housewife. She would keep the house very organized and spotless. She was a very secretive with recipes, however.
- She was highly intelligent. She was gifted in an academic way, whereas her husband was intelligent in a mechanical way (typical ISTP).
- She was extremely organized. She would keep receipts and instruction manuals filed away for decades. They gave us a refrigerator that was almost 20 years old when we bought our house, and she still had the original instructions!
- She was hard to read.
- I could relate to her more than I could her husband (ISTP). She was respectful and had manners. Her husband did not.
- She was very resourceful. She would grow a garden and then store the produce by canning the items. She would clip coupons. She would wash out tubs of butter and use that as storage. She was frugal.
- She handled the finances in the relationship.
- She had few friends and generally disliked social events.
- She didn’t decorate for Christmas after kids moved out, and she only had two children.
- She was very skeptical. She’d debate telemarketers and be skeptical of anything they tried to sell her.
- She loved reading novels and would do so for hours each day.
- Early in her career, she worked in either finance or insurance, which she enjoyed. After she had children, she left the workforce to be a stay-at-home mother and housewife. She always expressed a sense of regret about not going further in her career.
- She talked about how she felt different from others when she was young and in school.
In conclusion, INTJ woman are rare, intelligent, and mysterious. They may struggle with feeling “different from other women, and they may even struggle with finding a mate (they have high standards). Nevertheless, INTJ females have a lot to offer the world. They often have a drive to achieve great things, and they are usually highly intelligent and talented.
- INTJ Personality (“The Architect”). (n.d.). Retrieved January 15, 2016, from www.16personalities.com/intj-personality
- Estimated Frequencies of the Types in the United States Population. (n.d.). Retrieved January 15, 2016, from www.capt.org/mbti-assessment/estimated-frequencies.htm