The struggles and weakness of an ISFJ: In this video, I discuss the relationship, personal, and inward struggles and weakness of the ISFJ personality type. As an ISFJ, I struggle with many of these areas, and I hope other ISFJs can relate.
A big area of struggle for many ISFJs is asserting their needs, which can lead to them being overworked. Because of this, they dislike being placed in positions of authority, and they’d rather just do tasks themselves rather than delegate it (again this leads to working long hours and being taken advantage of).
I’ve had problems like this while working as a nurse. There have been times when I’d arrive to my shift, only to discover that the night shift nurse had neglected to perform some duties. They’d say, “I knew you were coming in, and I knew you’d take care of that for me.” Hence, many people like to treat ISFJs as doormats.
ISFJs have extroverted feeling as their secondary function, which can be as asset at times. It helps us understand people and read body language. However, it also has its downsides, namely, we absorb other people’s emotions (both positive and negative). This can be a struggle/weakness, especially if the ISFJ is around negative individuals. We will have the tendency to make other people’s emotions or problems our problems.
ISFJs do not handle stress very well, especially “great” stress. When they do experience it, they tend to imagine the most “catastrophic” possibilities and don’t take into consideration the people around them when expressing those possibilities. The MBTI Manual actually talks about this on page 68.
Because of the ISFJ’s serious nature, they tend to have a hard time relaxing. They tend to follow the philosophy that life is all about work first, play second (if at all). This can cause the ISFJ to miss out on opportunities to be spontaneous and experience the joys of life.
In addition, many ISFJs struggle with over-analyzing their self-worth and may question “Am I a good enough spouse, parent, or Christian?” Therefore, it is important for ISFJs to surround themselves with people who remind them of their positive qualities. ISFJs tend to be their biggest critics!
ISFJs love traditions and loathe change (unless the change proves to a positive outcome). This is another weakness because they tend to miss opportunities to make a process work more efficiently.
Lastly, some ISFJs may choose to enter a relationship with someone (ex: spouse, friend) due to being needed. Then, when they are no longer needed, the relationship may change for them. This can lead to the ISFJ being in an unbalanced relationship where the ISFJ becomes neglected.
In David Keirsey’s book Please Understand Me, he mentioned that ISFJs tend to marry alcoholics and conduct a “rescue-rejection game” without an end game to reform them. Again, this is not a healthy relationship for an ISFJ, but they are prone to this because of their weakness of wanting to feel “needed.”
In conclusion, those are some of the struggles that ISFJ personalities will face. I’ve certainly struggled with some of those things. You may also be interested in hearing about my ISFJ quirks.